Monday, June 16, 2014

TNA Slammiversary Results

MVP, Kenny King and Bobby Lashley are caught backstage arguing about tonight’s World Heavyweight Championship Match.  ‘Every man for himself’ is the motto MVP has suggested for tonight’s participants. 

Ladder Match for the X Division Championship:  Manik vs. Tigre Uno vs. Crazzy Steve vs. Sanada vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Davey Richards

The current Tag Team Champions The Wolves Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards are the first to enter the ring followed by Tigre Uno.  Accompanied by The Menagerie, Crazzy Steve is the next competitor, along with Manik and the current X Division Champion Sanada.

Manik is the first to draw blood by attacking Sanada before the bell even rings.  As Crazzy Steve mounts the first ladder in his attempt to climb to the championship, Tigre Uno completes an amazing corkscrew backflip off the top rope onto the wrestlers below. 

The next crazy attempt, no pun intended, in order to beat off defenders comes from Crazzy Steve when after attaching a ladder to his body, becomes a one-man tornado revolving multiple 360 degrees and taking out wrestler after wrestler. 

After Davey Richards was powerbombed from one ladder to the next and Eddie Edwards received a blow to the head from his current tag team partner, Sanada was the lone man standing and successfully climbs the ladder in the middle of the ring retaining his X Division Championship.

Winner:  Sanada

MVP’s entrance music comes on and the Director of Wrestling Operations walks out along with Kenny King and Bobby Lashley.  MVP pleads his case to the thousands of fans informing everyone of his medical condition.  He states his brilliant idea for the replacement wrestler in the World Heavyweight Championship match, saying both winners of the Austin Aries vs. Kenny King match and Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Lashley match will face Eric Young in a steel cage for the World Heavyweight Title.

Match:  Bobby Lashley vs. Samoa Joe

The bell rings and Bobby Lashley wastes little time – he viciously blindsides Samoa Joe’s backside throwing multiple punches.  

The strength and power from both wrestlers are on full display.  Samoa Joe throws Lashley into the turnbuckles, but before Joe can capitalize, Lashley rolls out of the ring only to do some blindsiding of his own and pounces onto Lashley on the mat below. 

These two mammoth-sized men trade blows back and forth, leading Joe into attempting a rear-naked choke.  Lashley counters and Joe makes a crucial mistake bumping into referee Earl Hebner.  After Joe turns to face his opponent once again, Lashley capitalizes and spears Joe into the mat.

The first qualifier in the World Heavyweight Championship is set.

Winner:  Bobby Lashley

Camera cuts to the Carter suite and announcer Jeremy Borash attempts to get some insider information from President Dixie Carter.  Her meetings with the Board of Directors this past week were beneficial for the company and Dixie states that the events will play itself out and “karma” will come to those who deserve it.

Match:  Willow & Abyss vs. Magnus & Bram

Magnus is the first to enter the ring accompanied by his long-time friend and thug Bram, Willow is next accompanied by “The Monster” Abyss. 

Magnus dominates the opening and lays out Willow with multiple blows to the head and body.  He converts a rear chokehold and gets referee Brian Hebner to count to two, but Willow snaps out of it before the third count. 

Before both in-ring wrestlers can continue, Abyss confronts Bram after he attempts to climb into the ring.  These two brutes continue their own personal battle with their own weapons of choice.  Bram finds a turnbuckle and Abyss finds Janice. 

But with his back turned to Willow, Abyss chases after the wrong man and leaves Willow helpless in the ring.  Magnus capitalizes on Abyss’ absence and piledrives Willow.

Winner:  Magnus

TNA Hall of Fame Announcement

Camera cuts to announcer Jeremy Borash in ring.  The next inductee into the TNA Hall of Fame will soon be announced.  But before doing so, the Olympic Gold Medalist Kurt Angle enters the arena. 

He thanks the Board of Directors along with past, present and future TNA wrestlers and of course, the fans. 

After much anticipation and excitement, Kurt Angle stands alone in-ring and says the greatest tag team in TNA history will be the next inductees.  Ladies and gentlemen, the 2014 inductee into TNA’s Hall of Fame is…Team 3D.

Bully Ray and Devon enter the ring and almost immediately the entire crowd repeatedly chants, “WE WANT TABLES!”  Bully Ray states the main reason why they will be accepting the induction is for every single fan.

Match:  Kenny King vs. Austin Aries

The match kicks off with some trash talk center ring followed by a dropkick to the head by Double A.  Aries climbs to the top rope, but is leveled by Kenny King’s own dropkick.  Aries falls to the ground and King successfully completes a twisting slingshot from the top turnbuckle onto Aries below.   

The two wrestlers find themselves back to the middle of the ring and Aries smashes King’s head repeatedly from corner to corner.  Kenny King’s brains have officially been scrambled.

The Greatest Man That Ever Lived lands a missile drop kick, but King gains his balance and springs onto Aries back and lands a neckbreaker.  Both men simultaneously climb the corner turnbuckle and Aries puts himself into the driver’s seat.  He twists into the ready position and completes a brainbuster on King from the top rope.

The third and final competitor in the World Heavyweight Championship is set.

Winner:  Austin Aries

Match:  BroMans Jessie Godderz & DJ Z vs. Ross & Marshall Von Erich

Before the bell rings, the BroMans attack from behind both Von Erichs.  Marshall Von Erich finds himself in the mix and is laid out by multiple punches.

The match goes inside and outside and inside again with the Von Erichs delivering the heaviest blows.  But just as soon as the Von Erichs capitalize on a series of moves, Jessie brings a chair into the ring and swings it upon Marshall’s back.  The BroMans are officially disqualified and the Von Erichs are in trouble. 

But look who comes to the rescue?  Kevin Von Erich who was sitting ringside, flies into the ring and successfully applies the famous Iron Claw to DJ Z sending the BroMans scrambling to the exit.

The entire Von Erich family celebrates in ring with arms raised. 

Match:  Angelina Love vs. Gail Kim

Gail Kim starts off strong and trips Love to the ground and follows it up with a kick to the back.  The challenger is sent to the outside and the Beautiful People’s numbers come into play with Velvet Sky standing over the lifeless body of Gail Kim.

Angelina performs an awkward hip-inverted bulldog and immediately after, Velvet Sky sprays Gail Kim in the face with hair spray and referee Earl Hebner escorts Velvet Sky out of the arena.  He substitutes himself in for referee Brian Stiffler only to be knocked out incidentally by Gail Kim. 

Angelina Love capitalizes with a reversal and the only conscious referee, Brian Stiffler, counts 1, 2, 3 and the match is over.  Referee Brian Stiffler is officially enamored with the Beautiful People and should now be considered a ‘dirty’ referee. 

Winner:  Angelina Love

Texas Death Match:  Bully Ray vs. EC3

Bully Ray starts off by wrangling EC3’s neck with a rope and throws the Carter around the ring like a rag doll.  Bully then pulls back the pads on the floor alongside the ring and sets up two tables, one right next to the other. 

Punches are thrown back and forth and one half of the newest inductee into the TNA Hall of Fame pulls out a third table.  EC3 counters and retrieves a chair from under the ring.

The next weapon pulled out, a cheese grater…yes, a cheese grater.  Bully brings it to EC3’s chest and applies pressure and force, ripping the Carter’s skin apart.  They both find themselves on the top rope and Bully suplexes EC3 onto a chair below. 

Bully then does the unspeakable – he pulls back the ring cover and pads and exposes the wood infrastructure, but doesn’t need touse it.  Instead, he lines up Bubbu Cutter and lands EC3 onto the shards of glass that were emptied from the garbage can. 

Bully sets up his finisher and lays EC3 onto the tables he initially set up, but who comes to the rescue of EC3?....Aunt D, President Dixie Carter.  After Bully chases Dixie Carter around the ring, she runs right into the arms of EC3 and is accidentally knocked unconscious. 

Taking advantage of the opportunity and hearing all the chants from around the world, Bully envisions sending Dixie Carter through a table.  He picks up her lifeless body and sets her on the tables below.  EC3 crawls back into the ring, hits Bully with a kendo stick and while his body is falling to the tables below right onto Dixie Carter, Spud pulls the President’s body away from harm and EC3 stands alone in ring.

Winner:  EC3

Match:  “The Cowboy” James Storm vs. Mr. Anderson

James Storm calls out the Dallas Cowboys players sitting ringside, including defensive star George Selvie, and then pulls out a Dallas Cowboys helmet and pours a beer over the top of it.  The entire arena has been mocked and scorned. 

The match begins and Mr. Anderson completes a series of strikes, and puts Storm onto his shoulders, rolling him onto his back from the top corner onto the mat. 

James Storm rolls out and finds his leftover beer sitting in the corner.  He picks it up, takes a chug and spits beer all over the face of Dallas Cowboys player George Selvie.  Selvie ‘storms’ the ring, knocking down the fence and grabs James Storm’s leg, tripping him right into the arms of Mr. Anderson.  Mr. Anderson capitalizes, lands a Mic Check and celebrates in ring with all Dallas Cowboys players in attendance. 

Winner:  Mr. Anderson

Three-Way Steel Cage Match for World Heavyweight Championship:  Eric Young vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Austin Aries

Eric Young starts off the match with quick punches to Lashley’s face.  Aries follows suit and attacks MVP’s henchman as well. 

The championship match is starting to look as if EY and Aries are teaming up to defeat Lashley.  EY takes control with a missile drop kick to Lashley and a flying punch to Aries, and follows these moves up by picking up not one, but two wrestlers and slamming both to the ground. 

All three men find themselves high in the corner.  Aries flings Lashley to the mat below all the while EY climbs even further to the top of the steel cage.  EY performs his signature elbow drop from the top of the cage, but is stalled by Lashley.

Aries capitalizes and lands his finisher brainbuster, but is unable to pin.  Lashley regains his balance and attempts a spear, but misses, breaks down the steel fence and falls to the ground below. 

EY takes advantage of this rare 1 on 1 opportunity and puts Aries in a piledriver.

Winner:  Eric Young


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